A feature of the personal-development scene (though present in all areas of human society) is the guru, a revered leader who has attained power, influence and followers. To be honest I hate the idea of a guru. I have respect for a lot of people but I don’t revere anyone. The reality however is that a lot of people have gurus whether they call them by that name or not.

Becoming a guru can happen in different ways; by merit, through contingency, convention or simply because they can. Examples are Richard Bandler, Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra or Ken Wilber. These people are praised for being great teachers or for having deep wisdom. Others point out that they don’t always practice what they preach or even worse they are accused of being charlatans. In two articles I’ll look at what there is to learn from gurus.

The Good

One of the best books I’ve read is Influence: Science and Practice by Rober Cialdini. It was was part of my Psychology course and really opened my eyes to some of the behaviour exhibited by people. Now obviously the information in this book is presented in a way that it teaches you to either become better at persuasion, or to defend yourself against it. However the real eye-opener is the extent to which people are constantly allowing themselves to be lead (and I know I do it often enough myself). Thinking for yourself is hard work. We’d much rather other people do it for us.

Two principles from Cialdini’s book stand out for me. The power of social proof and the principle of commitment and consistency. The first is the idea that people will look to others for cues on how to behave and what to think. I can imagine why this would have been useful back in the day. If everyone else is running away from the sabre-tooth tiger maybe you should as well. Now this is just a heuristic. A basic rule of thumb that applies often enough, but not always.

In the example of a guru, the fact that a lot of people think that he is a guru must mean that he has the value to back it up right? A lot of people will say that isn’t necessarily true. But it’s at this stage that you have to think a step further. The fact that he or she is able to manoeuvre themselves into a position where they can take advantage of this points to the fact that they have the necessary communication skills, access to resources and networks.

So Tony Robbins could indeed be a cheesy over the top con-artist but the fact is that he is a famous motivational speaker means that he is doing something right. Now whether these behaviours and ways of thinking are useful for you or the world is something you have to decide for yourself. It could be that all the most ‘successful’ behaviours humans are actually leading us down a path of self-destruction, but then maybe that’s Nature / Gaia fixing a broken part of the eco-system.

The second principle I find interesting is that of commitment and consistency. People experience cognitive dissonance when they hold to contradictory behaviours, ideas or beliefs in their mind at once. That feels uncomfortable unless you’ve evolved into a zen-monk who accepts the non-exclusive duality of the universe.

If a person commits verbally or in writing to a goal then they will much more often follow through on it. That’s why it’s always such a good idea to write down your goals and tell everyone about them. I told everyone I was going to do a bungy jump in New Zealand, so I knew I couldn’t back out of it.

If people go against their word this would mean they think and act inconsistently. It would be very confusing and frustrating if we were constantly battling against ourselves to act the way we intend to. Now I know a lot of us are dealing with procrastination and lack of self-discipline but I’m talking on a level where you can not make an inference on what will happen as a result of your will. Complete random behaviour every single time.

Now the commitment and consistency principle is obviously used by gurus to get us committed to our goals, and to buying stuff from them. If we don’t commit we will leave ourselves a way out. Like the Greeks you burn your ships so you have no choice but to move towards your goal.

The crazy thing is that this opens up the possibility that you could follow a guru’s 12 step programme to becoming super motivated, commit to behaving that way and then actually achieve it through amongst other things the commitment to make it work and the fact that no one as smart as you would do something that doesn’t work. Like Dumbo you’ll be able fly A) Because you 100% believe you can and B) Because you take the leap of faith and leave yourself no room for any other possibility (except utter failure). Of course there is the danger that you’ll have some doubt not commit 100%, fail to burn all your boats and fall flat on your face like Neo when he failed to jump to the next sky-scraper. I think most of us are in the second category.

I think there is definitely something useful to investigate. It’s obvious that throughout history people have banded together and been effective in more than a mere sum of their individual powers would suggest. Can this only be done when we are following gurus and leaders? Or can we create that state in ourselves and not give away our individuality and self-determination?